How to Find Healing from Your Past

“Get over it!” “Move on!” “The past is gone!”

Well-meaning friends may offer you their best unsolicited advice, but their words hurt. Why? The past still haunts you. Are new beginnings possible? Is healing a reality? How do we confidently release the past and embrace the future? How do we find the strength to “press on”?
I’ll be the first to admit that some issues in my life have taken time and even Christian counseling in order to heal and move forward again. So rest assured there are no “pat” answers.

And as the song goes we need to ask God to “Heal the wounds but leave the scars”. Scars can be real important. I believe Jesus still has his “scars”.

Life-altering wrongs committed against us may never be corrected in this lifetime. But what about the times when we’ve wounded others? How can we remove the “Cain-stamped” seal on our souls – the glaring sins and blunders that have almost destroyed our lives in the past?

Only God can completely remove those, but there are some ways to help you find healing from your past.

See yourself as God sees you.

Jesus’ death on the cross made it possible for us to be right with God – “Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins”. (Romans 3:24). So, as a follower of Christ, we get that. Because of Jesus, that’s the way God views us.

Jesus was tempted in every way, yet He never sinned. Faced with every wrong choice imaginable, He always obeyed. When Jesus took our sin upon Himself, the perfect, sinless, Son of God, and we accept that payment for our own sins, God then sees us, as Believers, like He sees Jesus – as if we have always obeyed, and as if we always will obey.

If God sees us that way, then we need to as well. The mistakes and sins of our past no longer exist – except as a reminder in our own heart of my humanity.

Place GRACE beside every destructive thought and negative reminder from the past that threatens you.

Satan loves to remind God’s children of their marriage mess-ups, their parenting blunders, their business failures, and their prideful actions of the past. You can keep trying to pay for those yourself, but the reality is, you can never really undo the past. You can only learn from it, and accept God’s grace to move beyond it. It’s God’s grace that erases our past; and it’s God’s grace that will remake our future. "It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved! ,,,, God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” (Ephesians 2:5b, 8); “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” (Hebrews 4:16); “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Each time you begin to dwell on your mistakes or sins of the past, visually picture the words GRACE beside those thoughts, pushing the negative ones out. Then whisper a thank you cry to God: “Lord, thank you for your grace that brings healing from my past. Thank you for redeeming me, and for seeing me as if I have always obeyed. Thank you that You love me completely and unconditionally.”

Meditate on the healing truths in God’s Word daily.

The relevance of God’s Word never changes. “The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.” (Isaiah 40:8), “Every word of God proves true.” (Proverbs 30:5), ‘People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4). Scientists and doctors have proved that prayer and meditation on spiritual truths like those in the Bible can actually promote healing, well-being, and longevity, by impacting the brain positively.

The apostle Paul encouraged Timothy to continue in the Word because, “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

God’s Word doesn’t return “void.” In other words, allowing God’s truths and promises to saturate our lives give us the very defense and offensive we need to press on positively to the future God has prepared for us. God will take those implanted seeds of truth to accomplish His purpose for our lives.

Forgive as Jesus has forgiven you.

If you desire – and expect – God’s grace and forgiveness to remain active in your life, you must learn to not only forgive others, but also yourself. When we temporarily slip back into an “Oh, me!” mentality, we can find comfort and grace in reversing to an “Ah, Lord,” declaration. “Ah, Lord, if you have forgiven me so completely, what right do I have not to forgive others – or even myself?” “Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” (Colossians 3:13). His grace enables us to do what we can’t do alone: forgive.

You’ve heard, “To err is human; to forgive is divine.” We should add, “to not forgive is to trample down God’s grace and render it useless in our lives.” Look at what Proverbs 24:16 says: "The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again." Everyone messes up. But with God’s grace, we can all start over.

Perhaps we could also add, “To err is human, but not to learn from it (our errors), is foolish.” Be patient with yourself. Get an “accountability partner” – someone you trust who can check in with you often and help keep you moving in the right direction. You can step in the same hole only so many times. Sooner or later you’ll need to take a new path. Receive God’s infinite, complete forgiveness as a gift; then give Him the gift of belief and trust: that He still has good plans, a hope and a future for you (See Jeremiah 29:11).

Keep moving forward by anticipating something today and something tomorrow

Most people always have something to do around your house – or in your life – but not always what we anticipate doing. Yet even in the midst of the mundane, it helps to change our outlook by focusing on something we can look forward to today, and something we can look forward to tomorrow. That something may be ambitious or practical or simply having lunch with a good friend.

Find joy in what you do, and in doing for others. Putting our past behind is a constant action; but so is pressing on. Consider a reachable goal like Mother Teresa‘s: “Doing small things with great love” – even while she worked in the midst of extreme poverty and adverse circumstances.

Busy Activity vs. Balanced Work

Discern the difference between busy activity and balanced work. Coping with a painful past can include hiding ourselves behind a facade of endless activity. We can try to cover our pain by eliminating any time to think, rest, or refresh. But band-aids don’t bring inner healing. They only cover the scars or open wounds. Balanced Work is a meaningful and intentional fulfilling of God’s purpose for our lives – that doesn’t crowd out right priorities.

These are only a few ways to help you find healing from the past. Accepting the truth that God has already covered your past will help eliminate any of your own painful coping methods. But it means trusting God daily with the details of your life. He will bless your todays and reinforce your tomorrows if you live in anticipation of God’s plans for you. He is the only One who can truly help you put the past behind and press on toward the future.

“But I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us”. (Philippians 4:13).