Scroll Down for Lesson Archives

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

How to Look Beyond Romance to Love as Jesus Does

How to Look Beyond Romance to Love as Jesus Does


Many Christians focus intently on finding someone to marry and then trying to live happily ever after in those marriages. They place such importance on romantic love that they may come to think of it as the pinnacle of their spiritual pursuits.

The need to be loved is a natural human emotion that we all desire. Romantic love is beautiful but God's love for all of us is the base of Christian spirituality. In his sermon "A Look At Love" James Merritt states "Love is the thermometer that can take your spiritual temperature. If you were put on trial for being a Christian, love is the one indisputable witness that would convict you of being saved. "



As Christians, our love proves two things. It proves that we are in the family of God because God created this world out of love. He created humans just so He could love us. God created Heaven so that we could love each other eternally. Love also proves our fellowship with God. Our love motivates us to know Jesus wholeheartedly, not just know about Jesus intellectually.

God's pure love for us was clearly shown on the cross when God sacrificed his only Son (John 3:16) so that we may have salvation. However, the kind of love that God offers is not something that is natural for humans. The kind of love that God offers through the Holy Spirit is something that is supernaturally produced through you. This means that if you belong to Christ, Christ lives in you. The kind of never-ending love that defines a true Christian is a sacrificial, selfless, satisfying and sharing love. We need to understand the importance of God's love for us and how we should embrace that amazing love.



Love--just think about that word. That one word can make a heart flutter uncontrollably. It can make the toughest man blush. It can make a grown man cry and women jump for joy.



The world is almost obsessed with this thing called love. The world sings about it, "What the world needs now is love sweet love." Or, "You're nobody till somebody loves you." "It's love that makes the world go around." And we can’t leave out the song “Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places”.



We have an insatiable desire to write about it. Almost without exception, you can walk into any store and just see shelf after shelf lined with romantic novels. Love has taken over the airways. Millions of people wait breathlessly from Friday till Monday to find out, "Will John get Mary, or will Mary forsake John for Luke. Or, will Luke go after Sally before Mary can forsake John for Luke."

God doesn’t place nearly so much importance on marriage as you might think. Yes, God did create marriage to fulfill good purposes in people’s lives on Earth (there’s no marriage in heaven – Matthew 22:29-30). But romantic love is just one expression of love, and Jesus wants those who follow Him to learn how to love as He does.

Focusing too much on marriage can distract you from Jesus’ greater call on your life: to learn how to wholeheartedly love God and other people. Whether you’re single (as I believe Jesus chose to be on Earth) or married, you can learn to love the best when you shift your focus away from romance and toward Jesus’ example. Here’s how:

Realize that singleness and marriage are equally valuable states. Although people in many church cultures unfortunately often make single people feel inferior to married people, God values single people just as much as He values married people. While many churches are oriented around families headed by married couples, from God’s perspective, the worldwide family of believers is what matters most. So if you’re single, don’t feel as if you have to get married to be complete or fully loved, or that you have to settle for a potential spouse whom you don’t truly sense God calling you to marry, simply to get married by a certain age. If you’re married, don’t pressure the single people you know to get married, but give them the freedom to follow God’s plans for them, in His timing. Rest assured that God loves you and wants to work powerfully through your life, no matter what your current marital status.

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians: “I say this as a concession, not as a command. But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. (1 Corinthians 7:6-8)

So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. (1 Corinthians 7:6-9) and then he says: “Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you.” (1 Corinthians 7:17)

Love your neighbors. Expand your list of people to love to include many more than just the people who are closest to you, such as your spouse (if you’re married), other family members and friends. God’s call for you to love your neighbors means loving everyone you encounter in life – all the people around you now, plus all the people you happen to meet. If you spend so much time and energy focusing on finding or attending to a spouse, your life becomes so centered around marriage, that you can’t faithfully love your neighbors as God intends. Decide to make it a high priority to reach out in love to the people you meet every day – especially people in need (such as those who are poor, sick, imprisoned, or outcasts in society). Spend time daily in prayer and meditating on Jesus’ words in the Bible about loving your neighbors. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you start seeing people as God sees them, and to give the compassion you need to treat them with real love. Jesus tells us in Matthew 22:39 that “The second greatest commandment is “Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself.”

Love your enemies. Jesus says: “… I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” (Matthew 5:43) “If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. (Matthew 5:46-47)

Ask God to help you love those difficult people you know – the ones who won’t return your love. Rather than holding grudges against them, ask the Holy Spirit to guide and empower you through the process of forgiving them. Instead of avoiding your enemies are even just putting up with them peaceably, Jesus calls you to pray for them and express real love when interacting with them. So keep in mind that all people are worthy of dignity and respect because God has made them, and ask God to help you relate to your enemies through the power of His love working through you.

Surrender your personal desires to Jesus so you can pursue what’s best for you. Be willing to surrender your desire for a husband or wife (if you’re single) or for a happy marriage (if you’re married) so those desires don’t dominate your life and prevent you from experiencing the full range of what God intends for you. View your deepest desires as opportunities to give what’s dear to your heart to Jesus so He can give you what’s best for you (which may or may not include your personal desires). Letting go of what you want frees you up to receive what God wants for you, which is beyond what you could imagine for yourself. It also frees you up to follow Jesus’ example of denying yourself so you can fully love others, giving generously however God may call you to do so. Be ready to say “yes” to God when He calls you to sacrifice your time, money, energy, emotions, or expectations in order to fully love Him and other people. Build your entire life around a commitment to serve God, even when it’s costly. Doing so invites God to fill your life with true love. The Apostle John tells us to “.. not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.” (1 John 2:15)

Seek God first, before all else. Set your priorities so that you’re giving God more attention than anyone or anything else in your life, including your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Recognize that God, who is the source of all love, is worthy of your highest devotion. Keep in mind that when you give God your undivided attention, He will empower you to love others in ways that you couldn’t otherwise. “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28)

Open the gift of solitude. When you’re alone with God, you can express your thoughts and feelings to Him fully and listen to His responses without distractions. So spend time praying in solitude regularly. If you feel lonely, let your loneliness motivate you to seek God more. Turn to God – not a romantic partner – to fulfill your deepest needs, because God alone can truly fulfill you, and His love is more than enough to satisfy you.

“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” (Ephesians 3:18-19)

We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. (1 John 4:16)









Lesson Archive

Hit Counter